There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
pray to the hookup gods
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
