I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
