Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize