I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
