bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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