so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
