Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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