Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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