Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
