Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize