is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
