In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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