she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
