then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize