i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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