whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
