dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
