david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
