fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
