You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
