Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
