office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
