But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
