I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
