Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
