he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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