she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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