They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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