How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize