I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
