Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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