I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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