he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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