We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize