Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
