I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
