carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
