Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
