I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You don't make any sense
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