Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
