I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
