His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
