So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize