It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
