just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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