Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
