He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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