Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
