Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
