dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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