...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
