the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn victory sex feels great
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
