Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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