I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
