I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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