Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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