If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize