Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My cat gives me a boner
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
