yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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