she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
