I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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