That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
