You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
