It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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