we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
