She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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