I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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