you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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